Do you ever think about how attached you are to your phone? It seems as if we are getting more and more sucked in to our social media accounts. You may have tried to limit your screen time, or perhaps even delete those social media apps. The important question to ask yourself is, does this make me happy or bring me down?

It is very difficult to get away from our devices, as we become more and more reliant on them. I don’t know about you, but in addition to social media, I now get my books and newspapers online. My work and social calendar is on my phone. We all know the intense discomfort we feel when we can’t find our phones. It’s almost as bad as losing your child in a crowd.

In addition, the lines between work and play get crossed. Many people do some form of work on vacation, even if it’s only to answer an email or phone call. Is this something that really makes you happy?

How we choose to use our devices and social media can make a huge difference in our mood and in our mental health. If you are focusing on the negative news headlines, what you might be missing out on socially, or comparing yourself to others, it will bring you down. The ideas for this blog come from Psychotherapy Networker magazine.

Hacks to make you happy

What makes one happy?

There are several ways to look at happiness. One might think of it as several different positive emotions. These emotions can be about the present, the past or the future.

Others might consider that sense of connection with others or nature. Perhaps it is occurs when we are doing something that gives our life meaning, or a sense of purpose.

If we are using social media to enhance or create these feelings, then it is a positive thing. It is up to you to focus on the things that are good for you.

Gratitude

I wrote about this topic last week. Epictetus, a Greek philosopher says, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” This is exactly what we are doing when we practice gratitude. It about being thankful for all the things we do have. Not just material things, but the blessings that occur daily in our lives.

If you focus and pay attention, you can notice all sorts of small things that occur within your day that you can be grateful for. Even if it is as simple as heat, hot water or food. People offer varying acts of kindness throughout our day. For example, someone lets you cut in traffic, holds the door open for you, or smiles as you walk past them.

You can use social media to write a gratitude journal, or send a message of thanks to someone who has been kind to you. There are also all sorts of apps for practicing gratitude.

In addition, don’t focus on what others have and what you don’t. Focus on the riches that you do have. For if you do, you will realize that you have many.

Mindfulness

This is about being present and in the moment. When we are truly focusing on the moment there is no room for anxiety, depression or fear. We can be practicing mindfulness throughout our day.

A simple way to do this is bring your 5 senses into any activity. For example, you can mindfully wash your hair. Feel the warmth of the water as it hits your back. You can also probably feel the steam in the shower. Feel the texture of the shampoo and your hair. Notice the sound of the water as it sprays on to you and the shower. Do you smell anything? Perhaps you can smell the shampoo if it is scented. Look at the shower and the items in it. Notice the colors or the texture of the tile or shower door or curtain. Notice if you have a taste in your mouth. By bringing in all 5 senses you will be mindful and in the moment. It will also be more relaxing and enjoyable than if you just do it mindlessly.

There are tons of mindfulness apps on line. When you are having a rough day they are wonderful to listen to. It is also a great way to start or end your day.

Connection to make you happy

Using social media can help us feel connected to loved ones. However, it can also make us feel lonely and isolated. We might have many Facebook friends, but how many of them do you really feel connected to?

It is important to focus on the people who are closest to you. It takes time to have deep friendships. We cannot do that with 500 Facebook friends.

Use apps such as Facetime and Whatsapp to see your friends and family members if you can’t see them in person. These are wonderful ways to connect.

We are social beings and we need others in our lives to feel connected.

Compassion

If you have compassion towards yourself and others, you will be happier. So instead of spreading discontent, spread compassion. Reply to people’s posts in a kind way and you will feel better about yourself. As you spread compassion, others will follow suit.

Many people find it easier to be compassionate to others than themselves. Don’t forget to include yourself in that compassion. It may appear as if others have it all together on line and you don’t, but that is just a façade. We are all human and they struggle just like you do. Most people only share the wonderful things going on in their lives, not their difficulties.

Click on positive reels and other uplifting things that pop up in your feed. The more you click on these positive things, the more positivity will pop up. Ignore those negative messages or ones about doom and gloom. What you choose to take in will make a big difference in how you feel.

Take a break from social media

If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is OK to take a break from social media for as long as you need. You may want to let others know you are taking a break if they are wondering what is happening with you. They can always text, email or call if they want to connect. Doing so may make you happy.

If you struggle, therapy can help. Please give me a call at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie