What does your inner voice say about your body image? Are you someone who focuses on your flaws or assumes that your self worth is based on your appearance? Do you think you’d be happier or people would like you better if you weighed 10 pounds less? Does your mood depend on what the scale says? These are indicators that you have negative self-talk.
On the other hand are you someone who is more realistic with his or her body image? You like the way certain clothes look on you. Do you notice things that you like about your body, your hair, your eye color, your arms or legs? Do you focus more on these than the things you don’t like about yourself? Perhaps you would like to lose a few pounds, but you still feel good about yourself and who you are as a person. Your weight doesn’t affect your mood. If so, you have positive self-talk.
If you think negatively about your body image, you may wonder where it comes from. There are many possibilities. Perhaps someone called you a name that wasn’t flattering, or someone pressured you to lose weight or you reached puberty early. There are all kinds of reasons. We all develop what they refer to as a cognitive schema, which is basically a psychological map of how we see the world, based on our life experiences.
If you had bad experiences with your body image growing up, you may believe that was said to you was true. You can only see things from this point of view, vs. a more objective point of view.
I tell many clients that if you are saying to yourself, if…..then I will be happy, then you will never be happy. Things do not make us happy. It comes from within, whether we have these things or not. Happiness is like a cat. What happens if you chase after it? It runs away. What happens if you leave the cat alone and do what it wants? It comes to you. This is how happiness works. Do not chase after it, as it will elude you. You can work on it and learn to accept things as they are in the moment, and eventually happiness will come to you.
I know this is all easier said than done. Next weeks blog will focus on the Ten Taxing Appearance Assumptions by Thomas Cash, Ph.D. These are things that people with negative body image focus on, which keep them caught up in their negative thinking patterns.
Take care,
Debbie
