Many people think something must be seriously wrong with you if you need counseling. Nothing could be further from the truth. Even though there is a movement to dispel this myth, the stigma still exist. However, life is difficult and we are all thrown curve balls. As a result, we can all benefit from therapy.
In addition, it can be difficult to get through your grief, pain or struggles. It often helps to talk to someone who is not emotionally involved in your life, can be objective and non-judgmental. Many people I have worked with say that counseling lets you to leave your baggage behind. Talking about your challenges helps you work through them. If you suffer in silence, your pain and grief will only fester.
What happens in a counseling
New client paperwork
If you have never been to therapy it might feel a little intimidating as you are in new territory and have no idea what the process will look like. Let me help you ease your fear.
First you will fill out new client paperwork so the therapist can learn a little more about you, your struggles and what makes you tick. If you’d like to see an example, you can go to my website www.debbiegrammas.com, go to the very bottom of any page and click on the link for intake. If you aren’t comfortable answering some of the questions, you can leave them blank.
Your first session
Next your therapist might asked you what is bringing you in today, what made you reach out and call? Obviously he or she has an idea of your struggles by looking at your paperwork. You have probably been struggling for a while, so it helps to know what made it bad enough that you decided to call. It may be because you got some terrible news, the struggles in your relationship became overwhelming, or your anxiety/depression is preventing you from living at your normal level of functioning.
Even though the thought of therapy might feel daunting, many people express relief even after making the call, setting up an appointment, or showing up for the first session. They know that they are engaging in steps to take care of themselves. There is a new sense of hope that they will be able to work out their issue.
Goals for Counseling
Your therapist will also ask you what your goals are for therapy. What do you hope to accomplish? Once that is established your therapist can come up with a game plan to help you get there. Everyone is different, so all that matters is what you want. You are the guide for your therapist. In addition, you don’t have to continue therapy after that first session. You are the boss and can stop whenever you’d like.
Establishing rapport
A goal a therapist has with a client is to establish rapport. They want you to feel heard, understood and respected. In order for you to feel comfortable and safe with your therapist, the connection needs to be there. You need to feel safe in order to open up with your deep fears and insecurities. This may even take a few sessions.
I always tell clients that I am like Home Depot. I have many tools to give you. You come in with your toolbox and take the ones you like. Leave behind the ones that don’t work for you.
The most important aspect for therapy as an agent of change is the rapport with your therapist. If that is there, wonderful things can happen. This is what the research shows.
Meeting you where you are at
Your therapist also recognizes that how you feel today or what is going on emotionally might be different from session to session. He or she will meet you where you are. For example, if your goal is to reduce your anxiety at your initial session. Then the following week you have a big fight or break up with your partner. You will most likely want to spend the session processing that or get help with how to mend things or move on without that person.
Gain insights/personal growth in counseling
As you talk through your challenges, you will probably gain some insight into your own behavior/thoughts, or how it impacts other areas of your life. This self-awareness can also increases your self-esteem and confidence. Or you might learn how you are maintaining some of the dysfunction that is going on in your life. This certainly isn’t to blame you. If we don’t know we are doing something unhelpful, we cannot change. In addition these painful recognitions are what push us to grow and change. Again, it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person or are broken. We all have blind spots. Once we know these we can work on changing them.
Coping mechanisms
Another common aspect of therapy is learning coping mechanisms. For example, you might have anxiety. There are so many tools available. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most common treatment for anxiety and depression. There are also other tools such as journaling, processing your emotions, exercise, practicing gratitude, meditation, mindfulness, challenging your negative thinking, just to name a few.
Modality of treatment in counseling
Often times people want to know what modality or type of treatment you use. Everyone is different, so what might work for one person may not work for another. Thus it is important to communicate your needs with your therapist. If you don’t think what he or she is doing is helpful let them know.
Setbacks
Also remember that growth isn’t always linear. Sometimes you experience setbacks. However a beautiful thing about therapy is that you can take this growth along with the tools you have learned and use them for a lifetime. You may want to come back to therapy at some point in time based on what is going on in your life.
I always say that therapy is a safe place to land your storm. If you are struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out. Help is only a phone call away. Give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can get you back on a better path.
Take care,
Debbie Grammas
