Unless you struggle with one of the eating disorders, you are most likely looking forward to the holidays. There are all the fun festivities, activities, time with family and food. In our culture it seems as if all social events revolve around food or drink of some kind. Most of us enjoy this. However, if you struggle with an eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge eating disorder, the holidays can be a very difficult time.
Knowing that the holidays may be a trigger for those with eating disorders, there are some things that people can do that may be helpful, and ease the anxiety or panic that many ensue.
Know your triggers
Ask yourself what will be the biggest trigger. Will it be that there is so much food around? Do you worry that people will be watching you and seeing how much or how little you eat? Do you fear that people will make comments about your weight? Or do you want to eat the food so badly, yet tell yourself that you can’t, or that you’ll get fat? Once you know what your biggest triggers are, you can take steps to make them easier to deal with.
Quantity of food
Whether you tend to restrict or overeat, the sheer quantity of food can be overwhelming during the holidays for those with eating disorders. Perhaps try some mindfulness or meditation prior to going to the event. You can remind yourself that there is a lot of food this time of year, which is normal.
Over/under eat
Remind yourself that you will be able to handle this situation, and have a game plan. If you tend to restrict, challenge yourself to taste a small amount of all the foods of the season. This is part of what makes it enjoyable. We tend to eat different foods than we usually eat, which adds to the festivities.
If you tend to overeat, try to fill up on healthier options first. Then have a smaller quantity of the foods you tend to binge on. Be sure to eat your normal meals prior to the event to help you from being too hungry going into the event.
Communicate with family
Let them know what they can do to be helpful or supportive. Do you need to ask them ahead of time not to comment on your weight or quantity of food? Most families want to be supportive and do the best they can. However, it may be different than what you need.
Support person
Is there someone you feel the most comfortable with? If so, ask them ahead of time if they can be there for you. Maybe they will be physically there and can intervene in some way if need be, or help to ease your anxiety. If this person won’t be there, perhaps they can be available by phone or Facetime. Then contact them if things get difficult.
Seeking therapy for eating disorders
Do you already have a therapist? If so great, if not, perhaps you can get one prior to the winter holidays. Being able to talk with someone who is not emotionally involved in your situation is often helpful. That person can help you brainstorm on ways to take care of you when things get difficult.
How to respond
If someone makes a comment that upsets you, how can you respond? Obviously sometimes people catch us off guard. If you think someone will ask a certain question or make a certain comment, think of responses you can make ahead of time. This may help take the sting out of them. Or perhaps you can simply respond, “I’m not comfortable talking about that.” If they persist it is OK to just walk away.
Set goals
When you are battling one of the eating disorders, setting up specific goals for yourself, no matter how small can be helpful. Perhaps you can challenge yourself to try one new food, or take a bite of something that is on your forbidden foods list. Maybe you set a goal to eat slow and take small bites, or allow yourself one desert. You decide what the goal is. Try to set yourself up for success, instead of a huge goal that may almost be impossible.
If you don’t reach your goal(s), don’t beat yourself up. Goals are something to strive for. If they were easy, they wouldn’t be goals. Remind yourself that you did the best you could and tomorrow is a new day.
Engage in other activities
Don’t let food be the only thing going on, as there is so much more. Who can you sit and visit with? Is there someone you don’t get to see very often? Or perhaps grandma or grandpa sits off in a chair and is ignored. Spend time with that person. You will probably make their day. Maybe there is a new baby or children to play with. Are there games to play? Make the people and activities the focus of the day.
These are just a few suggestions on how to take care of yourself if you struggle with one of the eating disorders over the holidays. This is a challenge for many people in your situation. If this is something that is difficult for you too, give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can come up with a plan that best suits you. You may also want to click here for additional resources.
Take care,
Debbie
