If you have been involved in a relationship for years, you may be in coast mode. Everything seems to be fine and going smoothly, and then all of a sudden one person realizes that they are feeling disconnected emotionally from their partner. Even though you live in the same home and discuss day-to-day topics, you may not be connecting emotionally with your partner. Are you each doing your own thing in the evenings even though you are both there?

There are many things to distract us and take us away from our partner. Perhaps you are online shopping, on Facebook, Pinterest, or playing games. Maybe you see your partner is busy on the phone or computer, so you go do something else, and vice versa. You are not connecting and it seems like you are just roommates. Staying away from technology takes a lot of effort. Perhaps you need to set some boundaries. Here are some suggestions to stay connected to your partner.

Sit at the table for dinner together. There should be no distractions. No phone, TV, newspapers. This is a time for you and your partner or family to connect. Research shows that families who eat together have children who are less likely to get into trouble or use drugs.

In the evening take 10-20 minutes each day to sit down and talk to your partner, just the 2 of you, no technology or other distractions. You would be surprised how long 10 minutes can seem when you are not used to doing this.

Go on a date night once a week. You need to carve out time whether is just the 2 of you, or with other couples. It’s important to have fun in your relationship. If you can’t go out weekly, then it should be a minimum of twice a month. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You can pack a picnic and go to the park or the beach, or just go for a walk.

Limit time online in the evenings. We all have things we need or want to do online. So give yourself some time and stick to the boundary.

No TV, phones, IPads or laptops in the bedroom. This is for a number of reasons. The first one is about sleep hygiene. You need about 1 hour prior to bed to wind down. The bright lights from the TV and computers stimulate our brains and make it more difficult to sleep. The bedroom should be associated with relaxation and pleasure. And research shows that people who don’t have TV’s in their bedroom have more sex.

I hope you’ve found these tips to be helpful. If you feel like you and your partner need more help connecting contact me at 713-304-6554 or [email protected]

Take care,

Debbie