Images of the perfect man or perfect woman are all over social media. We couldn’t get away from this toxic beauty even if we try. Realistically, who really fits the ideal standard of beauty? How many women do you know who are tall, thin, beautiful and blonde? How many men fit the handsome image along with his 6 pack abs. I’m not going to deny that these people do exist, but it is a very small percentage of the population.

The problem is that social media can make you feel that something is wrong with you if you don’t live up to this ideal standard. In addition, the models you see are photo shopped or altered in some way to make you think that this is a real person.

If you only use this beauty product, eat these certain foods, do these specific exercises, etc., then you too can be like these people. Don’t forget these people have a product to sell and they will use any means of advertising to get you to buy them.

The impact of toxic beauty is particularly harmful to young people as it can have such an impact on their self-esteem and sense of self-worth. The Dove Self-Esteem Project has all kinds of research and ways to help your budding adult. Many parents express surprise when they learn about the toxicity of social media.

3 categories of toxic beauty on social media (Dove):

Finspiration

This content focuses on doing a certain exercise routine or following a certain diet plan to get the perfect body.

Thinspiration

Cutting calories or skipping meals are the focus of this category.

Elective cosmetic procedures

Advertisements are telling people that you are not too young to get Botox or fillers. Whitening your teeth and getting chemical peals fall into this category.

According to Dr. Phillippa Deidrichs (in charge of research for Dove project), 8 out of 10 girls want their parents to talk about the societal ideas of beauty, and want parents to help them minimize their social media content.

When parents were actually shown what their children were seeing on social media, they were shocked. Young people are so impressionable and it’s critical that you talk to your children about this. Remember as a parent, what you do and what you say has a huge impact on your child.

Steps to cut out toxic beauty on social media

Prep

Learn about the different apps, the messages and their safety functions. This at least gives you a starting point.

Chat

Have conversations with your child about who they follow and what advice they listen to. Find out why they like these people and ask about the impact of these messages on their sense of self worth. Remind your child that people have a product to sell and the advice given may not be medically sound.

Detox

Go through the apps or ads that make your child feel negatively towards themselves. Teach them how to hide or unfollow them. Remind them that the ads they click on impact other ads that show up in the future. Have them keep the ads that inspire them and click on those.

Repeat

It takes time to create new habits. In addition, social media content may need a tune up every few weeks to keep anything negative out.

They did a research study where participants sat in a room behind a curtain. On the other side of the curtain was a police sketch filer from the FBI. The women were asked to describe themselves so the sketcher could come up with their image. These participants pointed out all the things they didn’t like about their face.

Each person who was sketched was also told to talk to one of the other women in the study. Then the the other woman was asked to describe that person so the sketcher to come up with an image.

Of course the two images were different. Interestingly when the stranger was describing the other woman, they were much kinder and complimentary about that person’s feature. Side by side images were shown to each participant. They were surprised to see that the other participant drawing was a softer, kinder, prettier version then they described. It made the women realize that the world seems a more beautiful version of them. Instead of focusing on where you think you fall short, focus on the things that you do like.

Redefining beauty

This is not about your physical characteristics. Beauty is about your self-confidence, your energy, and the love you bring to the world.

As a parent you have an impact on your child’s sense of beauty. However, if you are complaining about your looks, doing the latest diet or procedure, you are giving your daughter or son the message that you are not OK the way you are. You are the most beautiful woman in the world to your child-just as you are. So embrace your inner beauty and all the wonderful things your body can do.

If you struggle with body image or the impact of toxic beauty, therapy can help. Please give me a call at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie