Do you experience stress? Of course you do, we all do. Life and relationships are challenging. Even if we try to avoid stress or conflict, it will come into our world. However it impacts some more than others. Several factors come into play as to how people handle stress based on genetics, personality style, resiliency, support systems etc.
Eustress
Can you even fathom that things that are good or exciting can also be considered a stressor? Really any life change would fall into this category, even if it’s something like getting married, or moving into a new house. There is actually a term for this called eustress. Most of us have never heard of the word before. It doesn’t even spell check in this Word document I’m typing. Anything that would be exciting to you would fall into this category.
Distress
On the flip side of eustress is distress. This is anything that you dread, or impacts you in a negative way. There is a chart by Homes and Rahe that determines which events are most stressful. They are labeled in Life Change Units (LCU’s). At the top of the list is the most stressful, and the bottom is least stressful.
How to determine level of stress
Greatest stressor
Death of a spouse is considered the greatest life stressor and they label that at 100. This certainly makes sense, especially if you have had years together, as so many things will change when this happens. Most of our long-term relationships work like well greased wheels. We each have certain roles we tend to play in the relationship, and certain chores and expectations fall on us. Yet if we lose our partner, we not only grieve their loss, but our life drastically changes. Now the bills they’d pay or the tasks they do around the house fall on us. We may have had no idea how much the other person did, until it now falls on our shoulders.
Second greatest stressor
Second on the list is divorce. Again, this would be a huge life change as we are now on our own. Added to the stress is likely a change in income level, or needing to share custody with your children. Just because you are divorced, doesn’t mean the person is no longer in your life. If you have children, you will still need to see this person on a regular basis.
Subsequent stressors
Third on the list is separation. Again, this all falls in line behind losing the life you had with your partner. However, this may be temporary based on what is going on in your relationship, and how you navigate these choppy waters.
Being in jail is the 4th on the list. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how stressful that would be. I’d imagine it would be terrifying to lose your freedom, and be put in a cell with another random felon. It is interesting to note that getting divorced in more stressful than going to jail.
Dropping down to 7th on the list is marriage. So even though we would consider this one of the most exciting events in our life, it is still high up in LCU. Just to give you a comparison, this is a 50 on the stress scale.
Ninth of the list is marital reconciliation, and 10 is retirement. Again, most people would be very happy when these events occur, yet they still are in the top 10 of life stressors.
Examples of other things that fall on the list include, pregnancy, gaining a new family member, changing jobs, having a mortgage, child moving out of the home, spouse starts or stops working, school ending, moving, challenges with boss, change in church activities, changes in eating and sleeping etc. As you see, these are all just normal life events.
Impact of stress on illness
Homes and Rahe discuss the impact of stress and the likelihood of illness. They suggest that you add up all your life change units. They say that if your LCU’s are between 150-199, 30% will become sick in the short term. If they are 200-299 50% will become ill, and if they are over 300 80% will become sick in the near future. Again we can’t predict exactly who will become ill, but this just gives you an idea that the greater stress you are under, the greater chance you have of becoming ill.
How to decrease stress
This isn’t to be all gloom and doom because there are many things we can do to decrease our stress, thus perhaps decrease our chance of illness. These fall into all sorts of categories. Here are a few just off the top of my head.
Phone a friend
Exercise
Hot or cold shower
Cup of hot tea
Meditate
Dance
Garden
Play an instrument
Engage in a hobby
If you feel an overwhelming level of stress, therapy can help. It beneficial to have someone to talk to so you can make sense of things and come up with a game plan to help you relieve stress.
Please give me a cal lat 713-304-6554 if I can help.
Take care,
Debbie
