Often times when we discuss mental health issues we are focusing on what is wrong vs. what is right. Realistically, most of us have a lot that is going well in our lives. Just recognizing that will help you remember that you possess resilience. You may not feel it at times, but it is most likely there.

In addition, taking the time to focus on this will improve your self-confidence. The purpose of this blog is to focus on your resilience and how strong you are.

Realistically you have what it takes and have some idea of what you should do, or what is best for you. You can ask the advice of many people, but deep down inside, you probably already know what you want to do. I always tell people to follow their gut. Only you know your internal experience and what is right for you. No one else knows all the nuances of the situation.

Things may not be going great. If you are just maintaining the status quo, that is OK. Things have not gotten worse, so you must be doing something right. If you have lived through a difficult experience, or trauma it is because of your inner strength or resilience.

Three tips to increase resilience

This information is from a BBC YouTube video on resilience. Know that suffering is a part of life. We will all experience the death of someone we love. We may go through a trauma or a divorce. Do you know of anyone who hasn’t had this experience? My guess is they have. Just know that you are not being singled out in anything you are going through.

To find the balance, we must focus on the good things that happen in our life or will happen. As we will all experience this too. What you choose to focus on will make a big difference as to how you feel. We certainly aren’t saying that life is perfect and you should never think of the bad or grieve. What is important here is to just balance things out, the good and the bad. Spend time focusing on the good.

Ask yourself if what you are doing, thinking or acting is making things better or worse. This is not about being stoic, or stuffing it down and getting through it.

Resiliency is also about recognizing that you are feeling vulnerable and reaching out for help. Remember that your loved ones, religious leaders, therapists, etc. are there to help you get through your difficult time. Having a strong support network will help you through just about any situation. Remember, you are not alone, and no one gets through these difficulties by them self.

Reaching out is a sign of strength. Talking about it will help you get through it. It doesn’t mean it will be easy, but you will begin to feel better once some of this is processed.

How to realize your strengths (from Between Sessions )

First, write down some difficult situations that you have overcome, or something that you have accomplished. Perhaps you lived through some type of trauma, death, divorce, accident or illness. Also add in of some of the accomplishments you have achieved during your life.

Second, write down the personal strengths that you have that allows you to get through some of these challenging times, or helped you succeed. Here are a few to think of: experience, thoughtfulness, intelligence, humor, strategy, responsibility, generosity, honesty, loyalty, and perseverance. There are many more words that we can add to this list.

Third, write down how you feel about yourself when you recognize these strengths that you have. I’m guessing many wonderful things come up.

Fourth, if you want, you can show your list of accomplishments to someone else who knows you well. That person may be able to add things to your list, or remind you of some of your strengths.

Fifth, keep a copy of this list. If you keep it in your phone you will have it with you all the time, as most of us keep our phones fairly close. When you are feeling a little down, or feeling bad about yourself, pull this list out and look at it. This will help remind you of your strengths and good qualities.

Finally, add to the list as time goes on. You will have many accomplishments in your life. And as time goes on, if you forget about past ones, add them to the list too.

There are other ways to practice resilience, and I just want to share these few tips with you. If you are struggling in life in any way shape or form, therapy can help. Give me a call at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie