Is Your Partner There For You?
Today’s blog is going to be based on something that happened to me this weekend. I have been married almost 30 years, and I can honestly say that my husband is always there for me when I need him. Is your partner there for you when you need him or her? Is he or she willing to get into the trenches with you when times get rough? You may wonder what am I getting at.
Yesterday I had something suspicious on my computer and ended up having to wipe my hard drive clean and set up my computer from my back up. Doing things like that on my computer is about as much fun as a root canal. I am not tech savvy and feel very uncomfortable messing with my computer.
When I asked my husband if he would sit with me while I did the process, as he knows a little more than I do about computers, he said, “Yes.” Realistically, I know he didn’t want too. I can’t imagine that anyone would. But true to his spirit, he said he’d be there with me. As I said, he knows a little more than I do, so he could help me a little, but I knew I’d need Apple support if I ran into any trouble.
Just his willingness to sit with me while I did something that was tortuous meant so much to me. It’s nice to know I have a partner by my side as I navigate daily struggles (well, hopefully a computer crash isn’t daily), but it made me feel safer having a companion. I felt less alone when I was afraid.
This type of companionship is what is so critical for long-term relationships. The passionate love that all relationships start with becomes more companionate over the years. If you know your partner is there for you in good times and in bad, then you have a good solid relationship.
If your relationship is not like this, then there are steps you can take to move it in that direction. I believe that we get what we give. So, ask yourself if you give to your partner. Do you do things you’d rather not do, for the benefit of your partner? I’m not talking about doing anything that goes against your morals or violates your boundaries. But are you there when he or she needs you or is feeling vulnerable? If not, this is something you can work on.
Another thing you can do is to be sure that you communicate your needs to your partner. Some things may seem obvious to you, and you are waiting for your partner to offer to help. Trust me, your partner cannot read your mind. So be sure to ask for what you need. Then if the person helps you, let him or her know how much you appreciate it and what it means to you.
Just my little bit for long-term relationships.
Debbie
