Any one who has had a pet for many years knows the devastation of losing that pet. We all know the average life expectancy and that no animal lives forever, yet when that pet passes away we may be surprised at the depth of pet grief.
Most people feel like and treat their pets as a family member. I’ve even had people say they wished their partner treated them as well as their cat or dog. When we lose our pets we grieve as if we have lost a family member.
Also remember that pets are special creatures. They often times greet us at the door either meowing or wagging their tails. They give us unconditional love and want our love and attention. Even their quiet presence and weight of their body on ours is very comforting. There are times when a pet is more comforting than a human.
Thus, it makes sense when we lose our pets the loss can be profound.
Ways to work through pet grief
Allow yourself to grieve
There is no wrong or right way to grieve. The important thing is to do what feels natural for you. Honor those painful as well as wonderful memories. Don’t fight the feelings that arise. Give yourself time for this process. No one can take away your pain.
If you hold it in and try to stuff it, it will come out in some way, shape or form down the road. So, just let it happen.
Journal
Writing about your feelings is one of the best ways to process them. Just write whatever is going through your head even if it wouldn’t make sense to anyone but you. It doesn’t have to be in complete sentences or be grammatically correct. This is just a free flow of thoughts and feelings.
This helps you get them out vs. hold them in. The act of writing helps us get from our emotional brain to our logical brain.
Memorial
Do you want to bury your pet, cremate it or leave it with the vet? Again, there is no right or wrong with your choice. Honor your gut instinct.
Or perhaps there is some other tradition you engage in when you or a family member have lost a pet. You might want to place some type of pet memorial or marker on their grave.
In addition having your pet’s ashes in a little urn can be very comforting. Perhaps you can plant a tree in honor of your pet, or make a scrapbook.
Talk to someone
Having someone to share your pain can be very healing, especially with someone who also has lost a pet. You are not alone in this process. Many people have lost a pet. While no two people grieve the same way, talking to someone will help you process your emotions. Sometimes having someone to hug you or hold you can be helpful.
Self-care for pet grief
It is important to take care of yourself. That means eating and sleeping. Many people benefit from melatonin for sleep. You can even contact your doctor if need be. Self-care also includes time for exercise and being around friends. Spending time outdoors and engaging in hobbies are great for self-care.
You can also meditate or start a gratitude journal where you write down 3 things each day that you are grateful for. Doing so can be a game changer.
Remember the love
Grief is actually love with no place to go. So honor the feeling of love that you shared with your pet. I’m sure you gave your pet a happy home and you both enjoyed the unconditional love. Many people say they wish they had the life of their pet. All you have to do is eat, sleep and play.
You could also write a thank you note to your pet thanking it for all the love and laughter it brought you.
Pet loss support group
You might want to reach out to a pet loss support group. There might be some groups online or near you. Being around others who have also lost a pet makes you feel less alone.
Finally, allow your grief to happen. The worst thing you can do is stuff you feelings and suck it up. Some people may not understand your grief, or think it’s just a pet, get another one. It’s a good idea to work through some of your grief before getting another pet.
Over time, the depth of your pain and the number of times per day that you feel pain will decrease.
Therapy for pet grief
Many people benefit from individual therapy to process their grief. Having an empathetic nonjudgmental person to share your pain is healing. Please give me a call at 713-304-6554 if I can help you out.
Take care,
Debbie
