Do you engage in rumination? That is to think about the same thing over and over again? You can’t get it out of your head and these negative thoughts just bring you down. Perhaps you try to stop thinking about it but you can’t. It may be bad enough that it gets in the way of the things you want or need to do. If this is the case, you came to the right place.
Ways to help stop the cycle of rumination
Ask yourself if you have control over the situation
My guess is that you do not. It’s one thing to brainstorm about a problem for the purpose of solving it, it’s another when it’s something that already happened, may happen or may not happen.
If you realize you have no control over the situation, tell yourself that you do not have control over it and it is a waste of time to continue down that path. Remember, the rumination is your unhealthy voice talking to you. We want to strengthen your healthy voice.
What would you say to a child or loved one in this situation?
My guess is that you would be kind, loving and reassuring. Well, guess what, there is no reason you can’t do the same for yourself. Obviously self-talk is a big factor in how you feel about yourself. You do not need to be punishing, you can be compassionate towards yourself.
Set up worry time for rumination
If you are worrying about the same thing over and over again, set up a specific short time to worry. For example, if you say 7-7:20 pm is my worry time and you are worrying about it earlier in the day, say to yourself, “OK Debbie, it is not 7 pm yet. I need to put this aside for now. I will set my alarm for 7 pm, and that will be my reminder to worry about it then.”
Challenge your negative thinking
Write down your negative thought. For example, let’s say you are beating yourself up for something you said at a party that you thought was dumb.
First, write down what made you think this thought was true. Second, write down why the thought may not be true. Third, do you have proof that this thought is true?
Many people make negative assumptions. Has there ever been a time where you left a party and thought someone said something dumb? My guess is you really don’t remember much of what was said. The only way to know for sure is to ask a close friend if you said something dumb at a party.
Realistically most people are focused on themselves and don’t pay that much attention to what others say-unless it was a hurtful comment.
Distract yourself
There are many things you can do to get yourself out of your head. Engage in activities or hobbies. Phone a friend. Take a hot or cold shower. Go outside. Listen to music. Play with your pet.
If things are really intense, you can put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it to change your focus. Holding ice is also good to do to distract yourself.
Practice mindfulness
This is a wonderful activity to help you be in the moment. This involves paying attention to all 5 senses. What do you see, hear, smell, touch and taste? You can go outside and focus on something in nature. Mindfulness is also something you can do just sitting in your chair.
Here is a simple exercise to help you practice. Name 5 things you see. Close your eyes and listen. Name all the things you can hear. Pay attention to your sense of smell. Can you smell anything? Is there food cooking or do you have a cup of coffee? Perhaps a scented candle is burning. What about taste? Is there a taste in your mouth, or not really? What are you touching? Think about the pressure of your back against the chair, the texture of the clothing against your skin, or the hair on the back of your neck. Doing these things keeps you focused on the present.
Breathing exercises for rumination
There are several different breathing exercises that many people find helpful.
4-7-8 breathing
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
Hold for 7 seconds
Exhale out through your mouth for 8 seconds
Continue for a few minutes
Square breathing
Breathe in for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
Breathe our for 4 seconds
Hold for 4 seconds
As you are doing this, imagine one side of a square for each segment. Having a visualization to go along with the breath helps some people.
Diaphragmatic breathing
Put your hand on your stomach. Breathe in deeply and you should be able to see your hand rise. This is how you know you are doing this correctly. Again, do this for a few minutes. It will help you calm down.
Meditation
I teach people a simple 8 minute breathing meditation. You simply set a timer for 8 minutes. Close your eyes and sit in a comfortable position. Focus on your breathing. Feel your chest rise and fall. Notice the air coming in and going out. Do not judge yourself and just allow whatever thoughts come up.
Therapy
If none of these seem to work, therapy can help. There are many things we can do to get you to your typical level of functioning. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is not emotionally involved in the situation to help you make sense of things.
Please give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie
