Valentine’s Day is upon us. If you are single on Valentine’s Day, you may dread it. It may seem as if love is in the air for everyone but you. Or perhaps you have recently lost a partner, either the relationship has ended, or your loved one is no longer here. Valentine’s Day may be a painful reminder that your special person is no longer here. There are some things that you can do that may help ease your pain or discomfort.

What to do if you are single on Valentine’s Day

Self-love

We all spend more time alone than we do with anyone else. Why not practice self-love which means having compassion and care for yourself. What is it that makes you happy? Is there a hobby you love, do you enjoy spending time with friends, or pampering yourself? Take care of you, and do what makes you happy. Realistically does it matter more if you are single on Valentine’s Day, the day before or the day after? Why not treat it like any other day.

Find love again

You may feel like you will never find someone to love you, or no one could compare to the past love of your life. While no one will be just like that person, there is most likely someone else out there for you. I know it’s hard to imagine, especially if you are in the depths of despair. I have seen it first hand in my practice where a relationship ended due to the death of their partner. Little did they know that life had other plans for them. They met their new love on line and got married. So the message is to have hope.

Celebrate with friends if you are single on Valentine’s Day

Do you have friends you love being around? Why not celebrate the love of a deep friendship? Spend time with these people who bring you joy. You could have people over, go out, or meet with them virtually.

Time with family

Most likely your family loves you and will stand by you. Why not celebrate family love? Perhaps you could have a game night, meal together or an outing. In addition, it may be nice to just hang out and do nothing.

Share your love if you are single on Valentine’s Day

My guess is you have a huge heart. Why not share it with others? This could be done in a variety of ways such as doing random acts of kindness for others. Volunteering is a way you could show your love. Another thing you can do is to write letters of appreciation to those who have been there for you, or made a difference in your life.

Take yourself out

You don’t have to have a partner to go out to the movies or dinner. Instead of staying home and feeling lonely why not make a reservation at a nice restaurant for your self or go to a movie? Why not play tourist in your own city? Most of us take these places for granted. Go to trip advisor and see what is recommended. Doing so may make you more self-confident, which is always a nice trait that makes you attractive to other.

Plan ahead

It may be a little too late this year, but think of next year. If you know you don’t want to be alone, plan something way in advance. That way your friends can save the date in their calendars. It will also give you plenty of time to make a reservation at a nice restaurant.

Practice gratitude

When we practice gratitude we are more at peace with ourselves. Write down 3 things you are grateful for. Sit with those warm and comforting thoughts. This will help you feel less alone. Another benefit to this is, if you are having a bad day, you could go back to your journal and remember all the wonderful things that you are grateful for.

Pamper yourself if you are single on Valentine’s Day

Is there a luxury that you don’t indulge in all that often? What is your guilty pleasure? Perhaps you want to have a day at the spa. Or maybe you just want to get a manicure, a pedicure or massage. Maybe you want to go out for a nice dinner, buy yourself a box of chocolates or some flowers. You don’t need someone else to buy you these things to enjoy them. Maybe you want to call in sick and take a ‘mental health day.’

Make yourself dinner

Why not cook a special meal for yourself? Take the time to do it and enjoy it, even if it means taking off early from work. Set a nice table with a tablecloth or placemats. Add some candles and flowers. It will be a very different experience.

Remember, Valentine’s Day is only one day out of the year. It may be difficult for you, but if you take care of yourself, do something you enjoy or spend time with friends or family, you will feel better. It won’t matter that you are single on Valentine’s Day. At the least it will take your mind off things for a few hours. At best, you might have a wonderful time.

If you are struggling with your loneliness or in your relationship, therapy can help. Give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can come up with a plan to get you back on track.

Take care,

Debbie