The tips on anxiety in this blog are taken from an article in Psychology Today by Steven Hayes (co-founder of acceptance and commitment therapy). Hayes, like most of you who suffer from panic attacks, learned about this from a trip to the emergency room. You most  likely thought you were having a heart attack. This is typically how people find out.

If you struggle from crippling anxiety, you know the areas that you feel safe get smaller and smaller. You may be afraid to leave your home. His was so bad that even doing simple things such as talking, walking and sleeping became difficult.

6 Things Our Anxiety Teaches Us (Hayes)

Stop labeling your emotions

Often time’s people will label an emotion good or bad. When you look at all the possible emotions, a lot of them are not the greatest, yet we all feel them. However, most of us are able to let go of them more easily or have more positive self-talk.

However, if you have anxiety you label it as bad. It is so easy to go down the rabbit hole, and the more you do so, the worse the anxiety gets. We notice an uncomfortable sensation in our body. Thus, the more we focus on it the worse it gets. Our heart may start pounding, and our breathing becomes shallower. You may feel light headed, tense or tingly.

Hayes posits that there is a ‘richness’ in feeling this emotion. People label it as bad and want to get rid of it. As difficult as it might seem, if you can embrace this emotion, slow down and observe it, it will be a different experience. Get curious. Ask yourself where you feel it in your body. Is it asking you to do something? As you describe your experience you can learn from it.

Explore what is underneath the anxiety

It could be very possible that we are actually feeling something else such as sadness or jealousy, yet labeling it as anxiety. It is important to pay attention to what you are really feeling. Opening up to the full experience will help to better understand yourself.

Perhaps there is some underlying trauma or difficult situation that you are trying to stuff down and not feel. This unresolved conflict may be bubbling up in the form of anxiety. As you learn to work though the abuse or trauma, the anxiety may ease up.

However, this takes time.

Stop trying to control the situation

We cannot control our emotions. A panic attack can come out of the blue at any point in time. You can control how you relate to your emotions. However, if you try to fight them and make them go away, they will get worse.

We really don’t have much control over anything. We can control the things we say to ourselves when we have strong emotions. Other than that all we can control is what our hands and feet do and what comes out of our mouth.

What lies on the flip side of your anxiety?

Looking at the flip side of your anxiety can help you recognize your deepest desires. This is what is underlying the anxiety. Hayes says, “We hurt where we care, and we care where we hurt.” For example, if we look at someone who is socially anxious. This person wants to fit in and feel comfortable with others. Having a fear that the don’t fit in is what leads them to feel anxious.

Look at your strong emotions and you will get a deeper understanding of what you want.

Pay attention to your body

We hold our life experiences in our body. Pay attention to it and allow the feelings to be there. He recommends that instead of trying to solve what is going on with you that you observe your body and appreciate the emotions that come with it. Sit with it and feel it.

Stop grasping on to only good feelings

Our society is always talking about feeling good, as if this is how life should always be. Emotions come and go. We cannot control them. Allowing them to come freely and not judging them will help reduce your anxiety.

If we try to grab on to something it will only cause us angst.

Hayes talks about the importance of allowing all our emotions along with our internal experience to be there. Let them come and go (vs. hang on to them), yet continue to move forward towards your values and goals. This is the crux of acceptance and commitment therapy.

If anxiety is something you struggle with, therapy can help. Please give me a call at 713-304-6554 and you can learn how to have a healthier relationship with your anxiety.

Take care,

Debbie