It seems as if many people are feeling lonely these days. We all feel lonely at times. This is part of the human condition. However, some feel this deep sense of loneliness more times than not. There are several reasons why people might feel lonely. However, don’t despair there are many things you can do to combat that loneliness. It may take time and effort, but it is doable. Remember, you didn’t get here overnight, so things won’t change overnight. However, as you take steps in the right direction you will feel less lonely.
Reasons why people feeling lonely
Isolation
If you are not spending time with family or friends, you will start to feel lonely. This social isolation may be due to geography. If someone you spent a lot of time with moves away, you will feel a void, as you will have more time on your hands. On the flip side, if your social skills aren’t the greatest, you may have challenges making or keeping friends.
Social media and feeling lonely
This may be a great way to see what your friends and family are up to. However, this is very different from live interaction. People have many friends on social media, leading to superficial relationships. How can you maintain close relationships with your 500 Facebook friends? As long as you are spending time face to face with people, social media is fine. When it replaces time spent with others, it can lead to loneliness.
Life changes
If you have a major life change such as moving to a new location, getting a new job, losing a close friend or family member, or retiring, it can lead to loneliness. These transitions take time to adjust.
Mental illness
One of the symptoms of depression is isolation. You just don’t have the motivation to be with others and do the things you used to enjoy. This will lead to loneliness and increase your feelings of depression. If you have social anxiety, you may be afraid to be around other people. If this continues, you will feel lonely.
Culture
Based on how you grew up, you may feel like you want to do everything on your own. You may value independence. You don’t want to rely on others. Or perhaps you had no one to rely on growing up, so you don’t feel you can rely on anyone as an adult.
Health issues and feeling lonely
If you have some physical health challenges you may not be able to get out of the house or engage in social activities. It can also seem like the world is going on without you, leading to feelings of loneliness.
Lack of income
If you are struggling financially and your friends are not, they may be able to afford things that you can’t. You aren’t able to engage in all the social activities you’d like increasing your sense of loneliness.
What to do if you are feeling lonely
Build relationships
You may either need to start fresh and meet new people, or increase your friendship with people who are acquaintances. Or you may have had good friends that you let go by the wayside. You can pick up the phone and call someone, send him or her a text or online message.
Join a club if you are feeling lonely
Is there an activity that you enjoy? Perhaps you want to join a book club, gym class, Bunco group, card group, sports team or craft class. Volunteering is another great way to meet new people.
Activity
Do you have a hobby? Most people tend to get into the zone when they are doing something they love. This can help you feel connected to yourself.
Exercise is also a great way to improve your mental health. Going to a gym or taking an exercise class can increase your feelings of connection.
Limit your use of social media
If you are using technology, things such as FaceTime will help you feel connected. Seeing the other person makes all the difference in the world. So even if your best friend no longer lives in your neighborhood, you can still visit.
Joining online groups with people that have a similar hobby can also help.
Improve your social skills
If you struggle socially, you may want to join a therapy group or learn how to improve your relationships. Learning communication skills can also help. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. That way you won’t have to do as much of the talking. If you are a good listener people will enjoy being around you.
Get to know your neighbors
Talking to them for small periods of time over the years will lead to a sense of connection. It is nice to have a support network of neighbors so you can look out for each other.
Take small steps to combat feeling lonely
We want you to be successful. Don’t expect to make huge changes over a short period of time. Stay positive even if a few interactions don’t go well. You are working on a new skill and it will take some time. It may be best to build one relationship at a time.
Seek therapy
If you are feeling lonely and stuck, therapy can help. Give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can find a game plan to help you to increase your social connections and decrease loneliness.
Take care,
Debbie Grammas
