I thought I’d take a little break from the series on marriage to talk about holiday blues. Not everyone is all excited about the holidays. For some people it adds a lot of stress. Perhaps there are too many demands, too many gifts to buy. Maybe you don’t really care to be around your family or there is some conflict. Some people drink too much, overeat or have trouble sleeping.

Causes of the holiday blues:

  • Fear of disappointing others-you may not be able to afford the gifts they want, or be able to spend the holidays with everyone who wants to be with you.
  • Expecting gifts to improve relationships-doing so will not change the nature of your relationship. You many not get the reaction you had hoped for and feel let down.
  • Anniversary of a loved ones death-This may be the first holiday without them, or perhaps they died during the holidays.
  • Bad memories-the holidays may cause conflict or chaos within families, especially if there are conflicting demands, dysfunctional families or substance abuse. Even if things have improved it may make you think of unpleasant holidays in the past.

How to deal with the holiday blues:

  • Be realistic-don’t expect the holidays to be perfect or fix relationships. You don’t have to get it all done. You don’t have to be cheerful, be honest with your feelings.
  • Don’t drink a lot of alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant, and will only make you feel better for a short time.
  • Have a spending limit and stick to it. It is easy to get in the holiday buying spirit. You can provide the people you love with inexpensive gifts, bake them something, or make them dinner.
  • Be honest with others. Express your feeling openly and honestly. Be sure to start with an “I” statement, and then share your feeling. That way people won’t be put on the defensive.
  • Look for support. Perhaps that means a close friend, therapist or religious leader who can help you work through the holiday blues.
  • Take care of yourself. Try to pamper yourself, relax, take a hot bath, or read a book.
  • Set limits and priorities. You don’t have to do it all. Make a to-do list in order of priority, and do the top items first. If you get to the things lower on the list, that’s great. If not, let them go.
  • Volunteer. If you are sad that you won’t be able to be with family, volunteer and help those less fortunate than you. Do so can make you feel better.
  • Exercise. This is one of the best things you can do for stress or depression. Try to do 30 minutes of exercise at least 3 times a week.

You may also feel a let down after the holidays are over or be anxious about the New Year. If your symptoms continue, you may want to see a therapist as you may be suffering from depression.

Take care,

Debbie