It can be a very difficult journey if you live with or love someone suffering with depression. Millions of people struggle. If you have never experienced depression or lived with someone who has, it may be hard to understand. There are a wide variety of symptoms. Thus it can present differently amongst those suffering and make it challenging to help someone with depression.
In addition a multitude of factors can impact someone. Not only can it affect feelings, thoughts and behaviors, it can also impact motivation or even a desire to get out of bed. It can range from mild, or debilitating.
Having a support system can be a big help. As a result, being there for your friend or family member can make a difference. You may wonder what you can do. Below are some ideas.
How you can help someone with depression
Learning the symptoms is key to help someone with depression
Understanding the symptoms of depression is the first step to helping someone who is suffering. We all have down days. However, depression involves a pervasive feeling of sadness for at least a 2-week time period.
One person can sleep too much; the other may not sleep enough
Lack of pleasure in things the person previously enjoyed
Either weight loss or weight gain
Some people may experience agitation, the other may slow way down
There can be a loss of energy or motivation
Feeling guilty or worthless are also common symptoms
Trouble thinking, concentrating or making decisions are also seen in depression
The person may be preoccupied with thoughts of death or contemplate suicide
As you can see there are a wide variety of symptoms. At least 5 of these symptoms must be present in addition to the sadness to receive a diagnosis of major depressive disorder.
Talk to the person
The best thing you can do is open up a conversation. Allow the person to express their feelings. Don’t judge them. Give them a safe place to talk. If they are open to talking, that is great. The last thing you want to is to pressure them or shut them down.
You want to have the conversation in a place that is private. The person needs to feel safe and comfortable. Let them know that you are concerned. You might want to say that you are worried about them, as they seem sad lately, or isolating themselves.
If they share their feelings with you, validating those feelings will make them feel heard and understood. You can say something simple such as, “I can see you are going through a really hard time.” This will make them feel less alone.
Suggest they talk to a professional
Most people are not qualified to help someone struggling with depression. There is individual therapy, group therapy, or medication. Some people like a combination of both therapy as well as medication.
If the person is open, you can see if they want help finding a therapist or doctor. It can seem overwhelming, so you offering to help may put them at ease.
Let the person know that seeking help is actually a sign of strength. You can even offer to drive them to their first appointment for moral support.
If the person does not want help at this point in time, you cannot force them. Just let them know that you are there for them and if they want help in the future that you will do whatever you can.
Give them time
Depression doesn’t occur overnight and won’t go away overnight. It can be frustrating, especially if you live with that person.
Remember, this has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personally. Just honor their wishes and give them space if they need it. There’s nothing wrong with checking in as a way to remind them that you care and are there for them.
Offer help with tasks
Offering to help with tasks may give them some relief. You can offer to get groceries, fold laundry, or clean the kitchen. Whatever you are comfortable with.
If they are overwhelmed with things to do, remind them to lower their expectations. Sometimes just getting out of bed is an accomplishment. One day at a time.
It may also help to put together some structure in their day, even if its just get up, shower and eat.
Suggests self-care as a way to help someone with depression
Exercise is the best thing you can do to improve your mood. Thus, you can encourage them to engage in activities such as going on a walk.
Eating a healthy diet will impact mood.
Also a good night sleep is crucial. If they are struggling in this area, you might want to help them establish a wind down routine prior to bed.
Take care of yourself
Remember, you are not responsible for the person’s recovery. Be sure to set boundaries for yourself so you don’t become burnt out or resentful.
You can continue to express concern, offer to help, invite them to do things, and let them know you are there for them. The rest is up to the person who is struggling.
It can be very difficult if you love someone who needs help with depression. If I can assist you or a loved one who is struggling, please give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie
