Do you struggle with low self-esteem? Don’t worry you are not alone. Many people struggle. The good news is that there are all sorts of things you can do to improve it.
Self-esteem is your interpretation of your self-worth. This goes deeper than self-confidence and it taps into the value that you hold of yourself. It can impact you in all areas of life, relationships, friendships and occupation. There is no need to continue to let it get in the way and prevent you from living the fullest life possible. The focus of this blog will be on tips to increase your self-esteem.
Factors of low self-esteem
All of these factors combined impact your willingness to take risks, set boundaries, and bounce back from adversity.
Self-worth
This is your value as a person, outside of what you do.
Self-image
How you see yourself, which includes the way you look along with your abilities and skills.
Self-confidence
Your belief system of what you can accomplish.
Self-respect
This involves the way you treat yourself and how you let others treat you.
Ways to improve low self-esteem
Challenge negative thoughts you have of yourself
If you aren’t sure of what they are, pay attention to that voice in your head. We all have it. Do you beat yourself up? Call yourself an idiot, or think you are no good?
Once you are aware of these negative thoughts, ask if they are based on fact. Perhaps you can reframe them. For example, instead of saying I’m not good at anything. Say, I may not be good at everything, but there are some things I’m good at.
Is there a way to be more realistic in your thinking? Would a close friend or family member say the same negative things that you say about yourself?
Set small goals
You may have a large goal, but first we want you to have some success. The problem many people have with goals is the expectation of achieving them. Remember, a goal is not something easy. It’s a stretch. Part of goal setting is realizing that you might have to reset them, or lower the expectations.
For example, let’s say you set a goal to exercise every day. That is a recipe for failure. We need to allow for life to happen. You might have a job or responsibilities that don’t allow for daily exercise. Setting a goal such as 2-3 times per week when starting out is more realistic.
Also remember to celebrate your successes! It feels good to accomplish a goal.
Have self-compassion for low self-esteem
Remember that we all struggle and have setbacks. You are not alone. This is part of the human condition. First, allow yourself to feel these difficult feelings.
Second, be kind to your self. Tell yourself that you are doing the best you can given the circumstances. Finally, what would you say to someone you cared about in the same situation? Then say those gentle kind words to yourself.
Spend time with people who are good for you
You want to be around people who will support your dreams and goals. These people will build you up vs. tear you down. Who you hang out with matters!
If there are people who are toxic in your life, start weeding them out. You can either spend less time with them, or if necessary cut them out of your life. If they make you feel guilty or bad about yourself, that is an indication that they are toxic.
Seek out groups that have similar interests, hobbies and beliefs. Having a sense of community will also make you feel good about yourself.
Focus on your strengths
What are you good at? We all have an area in which we excel or comes easy for us. It may be a personality trait, a skill or ability.
Write down these things you are good at. If you want to add to the list ask a close friend and some family members what they think you are good at, or positive personality traits.
Learn from your mistakes of low self-esteem
You are not a failure for making mistakes. We all make mistakes. To improve your self-esteem, recognize that these are opportunities for growth. Try to figure out what went wrong, and how you can do it better next time. Also ask yourself if you know of anyone you consider a success that had no struggles along the way. None of us get an easy path to success. You get there by persevering through all your difficulties.
Do things that bring you joy
Some people have low self-esteem because they ignore their own needs and desires. They are too busy making other people happy. In order to appreciate who you are and your sense of self, do things that make you happy. Perhaps there is a place in nature you enjoy. Making you have a hobby or a favorite food. Maybe you enjoy simple things such as playing with your pet, singing or playing a musical instrument. Whatever that is, engage in it so you can nurture yourself.
Remember too, that if your self-esteem is low, you didn’t get there overnight. Change occurs slowly. Just keep following some of the things on this list and you can get to a better place. If you struggle with low self-esteem, therapy can also help. Please give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie
