Making a New Year’s Resolution is something you hear all the time. Many people want to start 2021 with a new year’s resolution and set some type of goal to improve themselves. Of course this is a great idea, and I’m all for it. However, many people set their goals too lofty and set themselves up for failure. Perhaps you say, “I’m going to eat healthy, or stop drinking.” While these might be wonderful goals, how you set them up can make the difference between success and failure.
Sticking to your New Year’s resolution
Here are some simple steps that you can take to help you stick with your New Year’s resolution.
Tell someone
People are much more likely to stick with a goal if they tell someone out loud. Perhaps it is the accountability aspect, or feeling that you don’t want to admit to someone else that it didn’t go as you intended.
Accountability partner
Let someone you trust know what your goal is, and the various steps you will be taking. If you are spelling it out in even more detail, you are likely to stick to it.
Set up a schedule to have them check in. Will you contact that person by phone, text, email, or other method? Or will they be contacting you? Perhaps you and this person will be doing it together to keep each other accountable.
Set up realistic goals
Many times with the new year, people want to set up huge goals and change their life. Unfortunately they are not setting them self up for success. Setting a goal is much easier than sticking to it. To be successful they need to be realistic. Set something that you can stick with.
Break it down into small steps
When you set up small steps, you are much more likely to succeed. The reason being is that you will have more successes along the way. These successes will keep you motivated and moving forward.
An example would be having a goal to exercise more. If you say that you will exercise every day for 30 minutes and you miss a day, you may be discouraged, and feel you have already missed the mark. A more realistic goal would be to exercise 3 days a week. Then if you actually exercise more, it’s a bonus. To break it down even further, you might want to say that you will exercise 3 days a week for 10 minutes, and then slowly build up to 30.
Don’t give up
If you don’t do what you set out to do today, don’t beat yourself up. Tomorrow is a new day and it’s never too late to get back on track. You don’t have to engage in all or nothing thinking.
What should my New Year’s Resolution be?
Do you want it to be physical, monetary or emotional/mental health (body image, thinking, boundaries, meditation)?
Physical goals
Physical goals might include, losing weight, gaining weight, exercising, or yoga. These tend to be simpler to set, as people seem to talk about these more.
Monetary goals
Many people want to save more money, add to an IRA or retirement account, put money away for savings, college educations, vacation, rainy day funds etc. Perhaps you want to donate more to organizations or help someone else out.
Emotional/Mental health
You may not have even put this on your radar with goal setting. However, this may be the most important area to set goals. Here are some things to think about.
Boundary setting
This can be very difficult, as people don’t like it when we set new boundaries as they will not get as much as they are used to from us. Some people may feel guilty doing this. However, boundaries are set to take care of you, not make other people happy. Maybe you are a people pleaser and are so busy taking care of others, that you ignore yourself.
Changing your thinking
Do you beat yourself up? This is detrimental to your mental health. Perhaps you have been doing it for so long that you don’t even know how to stop. It may seem like a huge goal, but it is something you can work on one step at a time. Remember, you didn’t get here overnight, it won’t change overnight.
What to do if you don’t know what to change
Some people don’t know who they are anymore. This may make it difficult to set a new year’s resolution as the person they used to be is so different from the person they are now. Obviously this could be a good thing if life is going in the direction you want. However, if you are anxious or depressed, perhaps it’s time for a change. If you don’t know what you want to change, we can do a little preliminary work to figure out what it is that you might want to work on.
Is your life out of balance?
I like to say that life balance is like the four legs of a stool. If one leg is missing, you might be able to balance OK. However, if 2 are missing, your stool will fall over. These legs of a stool can mean different things for different people. Some examples might be life partner, family, work, friends, exercise, hobbies, sports, and crafts. These are the things that make you unique from others.
What is meaningful for you?
Many clients I work with say they feel lost, that they don’t know who they are any more. One step to doing that is to regain the things that you love doing. Maybe you gave them up because of a relationship, family, or didn’t have firm boundaries. Ask yourself what it is that you like to do. What hobbies did you have that you no longer do? Were you involved in sports, play an instrument, part of a club, or do a craft?
If you had 2 weeks off to do whatever you wanted, what would it be?
Now it would be nice to be on a beach somewhere or involved in some great travel adventure. If that is the case and you don’t have the time or funds to do that, how about going some place for a weekend or even one night? Exploring and doing things in a new city is fun and exciting. Perhaps this is something you gave up as your partner isn’t a big fan or travel, or you have children. Can you get a babysitter or go with a friend? Getting away is a great way to recharge your batteries.
Is there a hobby you love that you let go by the wayside? Perhaps it’s writing, reading, crafting, playing an instrument, working with your hands or creating something. You know what it is.
Hopefully this will help you stick with your New Year’s Resolution and make the changes that benefit you. If you are struggling in this area, please give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can help you accomplish this.
Take care,
Debbie
