It is important to be honest about your personality and preferences in your relationship. Many people do things while dating that they would not do if they were in a long-term relationship with someone. For instance, if you are not a night owl, you may stay up late while dating, just to get to spend a few more hours with someone. However, this may not be sustainable for you in every day life. Perhaps your personal preference is to go to be at 10 and wake up 6. Your partner may be a night owl, and assume that you are too, if you stay up late while dating. He or she may be disappointed that you want to go to bed early, as you may not have made this side of you known while dating.
On the other hand, the early bird may wake right up and be ready to go for the day, and the night owl wants to sleep in, or is slow to awake. The morning person may have visions of breakfasts together before work and conversation. If this doesn’t occur, disappointment can set in. This doesn’t mean the night owl needs to become a morning person, or the morning person needs to be a night owl, it just means that you may need to find a way to compromise and get your needs met. Perhaps the meaningful conversation time is at dinner instead of breakfast or after 10 p.m.
Another area to consider is how neat each of you is. Is one person a little sloppier than the other? Perhaps you have noticed that your partner’s living space is not as neat as yours. When you are in that stage of euphoria over finding the person you love, it may not bother you that they are on the sloppy side. Or perhaps you admire that their place looks lived in, or are they are little more relaxed than you are when it comes to cleaning.
Perhaps you notice that our partner’s space is neater than yours and you think your partner will help you stay clean, or will clean for you. Once the euphoria has worn off (because it will) are you now complaining that your partner is a slob and nagging him or her to clean up? Or do you feel that your partner is always on your case, and they should have known what they were getting into when you got married? Again, this is something you need to negotiate and it’s best prior before marriage. Open and honest communication will take you far in your relationship.
Debbie
