We all know how challenging life can be at times. These challenges may occur over a long time period, or a crisis might show up at your doorstep. These situations may cause a great deal of stress, anxiety or depression. Having psychological flexibility will help you navigate these challenges a little smoother.

Learning psychological flexibility will help you navigate these changes. It impacts your thoughts and emotions and helps you stay in line with your values. You can learn how to deal with them and still live a meaningful life. These struggles do not have to derail you or prevent you from doing the things you want do.

How to increase psychological flexibility

Mindfulness

When you are being mindful, you are in the present moment without judgment. To do this, just pay attention to your 5 senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste and touch? Focus on these things. You can also just breathe deeply, in and out, or meditate. Be aware of your thoughts and where you are. Thoughts are just thoughts.

Values

What do you value? What is important in your life? Perhaps think of 3 things that are most important to you. Pay attention to these values and set your goals to be in line with them. Every action we make will take us closer to or further away from our goals. This guides you and helps you stay motivated to live in line with your values.

Reframe negative thinking patterns

We all have an internal voice. Perhaps your voice is more like a critic. Many people say they are their own worst enemies. First pay attention to your inner voice, as most of us go through life without being aware of it. However, the way with think impacts the way we feel. So if you can reframe your negative thoughts into more neutral or positive thoughts, you will less likely become anxious or depressed. Finally, what did you learn? Every challenging situation has silver linings.

Acceptance

Learning to accept that you are in a difficult place or are having difficult feelings can enhance your psychological flexibility. The more you struggle the worse it will get. Just like the Chinese finger trap, the more you pull, the more constricted it gets. Practice letting go of what you cannot control. This will free you to move forward and do what you need to do.

For example, let’s say you are running late and stuck in traffic. You clearly can’t do anything to change it. However you could look it as a time to practice your breathing tools, call a friend, listen to an audio book, or just take time to relax. If you are supposed to be someplace at a certain time, call the person waiting for you and explain the situation. Other than that there is nothing you can do. Getting angry or frustrated will only hurt you.

Practice diffusion for psychological flexibility

Doing this allows you to separate yourself from your distressing thought. You are not your thought. Say to your self, “I am having the thought that I am a loser,” vs. “I am a loser.” There is a difference. Thinking you are a loser will only cause you distress. Reminding yourself that you are having a distressing thought will free you up and decrease the power that your thinking patterns have on the way you behave.

Practice emotion regulation

This is a skill to be used when you are having intense emotions. It helps to practice grounding. Grounding is done with a 5-4-3-2-1 method. To do this, name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.

Get out of your comfort zone

Try new things. Do something that scares you. Each time you do so you grow. You can also try to break bad habits or try new approaches. You can do these things in small meaningful steps. As a result you will become more adaptive and better at problem solving.

Self-compassion

Most people will have compassion for others; yet have very little for them self. You will make mistakes. Do what you can to make amends and forgive yourself. I always ask clients who are hard on themselves what they would say to a dear friend or loved one in a similar situation. It’s amazing how people have no problem offering compassion or encouragement to someone they care about. Guess what, use those same words for yourself? This will help with your self-acceptance and make you more resilient.

Increase social connection for psychological flexibility

Feeling connected to others is essential for psychological flexibility and mental health. If you don’t have any close friends, why not work on your friendships. My guess is you have acquaintances. Spend time in person with some of these people. Can you share some personal hopes, dreams or fears with these people? If not, why not join a group. Being around others who have a similar interest is a great way to connect.

These are just a few tools on how to improve your psychological flexibility. It is something we can all use as we are all works in progress. If you struggle with psychological flexibility, please give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can come up with a game plan to increase yours.

Take care,

Debbie Grammas