As I’ve matured, I’ve had a few aha moments that taught me valuable life lessons. Some were easier to deal with than others. I recently read a blog from mindset.therapy regarding things that we learn later in life. It would have been nice if we learned them sooner. Things that were so important to me when I was younger now seem trivial. My guess is that you have learned some things along the way too.
Aha moments
Friends come and go
The first of the aha moments is that some friends will stay in your life forever. They are such treasures. After time they become like family members as they have your back, and are there to support you in good times and in bad.
Other friends may come into your life for a shorter time period. Perhaps something in life or an activity connects you. After awhile, the friendship may fade as you are no longer running around in the same circles. The easiest people to maintain friendships with are the ones who are involved in the same activities or interests as you.
In some cases a friendship becomes toxic and needs to end, as it is harmful to your mental or physical health.
What you take in, impacts your well being
In this second aha moment, I am not talking about food here. The information (TV, internet, books) you take in has a big impact on your mood. If you constantly watch the news with all the doom and gloom, it is easy to become sad or depressed.
Social media knows this. Once you click on something, it will send you more of it. If you don’t like what is showing up on your feed, start clicking on things that are positive and up lifting. This will improve your mood.
Do you love cats or dogs? Click on some of those videos and you may find yourself laughing. Obviously this is a mood changer.
People also fall in this category. If you hang around negative or toxic people, they will bring you down. The reverse is also true, if you spend your time with healthy and positive people, you will feel that way too.
Boundaries are to protect you
The third of the aha moments is that boundaries are not meant to make other people happy, they are to protect you. Some people may not like it if you set boundaries. Other people are afraid to set boundaries for fear that people won’t like them, or a relationship will end. Guess what? If someone does not respect your boundaries they are not worth having in your life.
Healthy people will honor your boundaries. You just have to let them know what they are. Learn to say no if you don’t have time, or really don’t want to do something. You need time to take care of yourself. That includes down time.
There is a reason they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first if the cabin pressure drops on the airplane. If you haven’t taken care of yourself, you cannot take care of others.
Not letting your fear hold you back is a huge aha moment
The fourth of the aha moments is to not let fear prevent you from doing the things you want to do. Some people with anxiety avoid places or people that they are afraid of. While it might reduce or eliminate your anxiety, it only maintains the fear. Your life becomes smaller because you are no longer doing the things you used to enjoy.
As crazy as it sounds, the way to get over the anxiety is to do the very thing you are afraid of. I know this is easier said than done. If your anxiety is getting in the way of your day-to-day life it is important to get help. We want you to live your life to the fullest.
Cherish your relationships
Cherishing your relationships is the fifth of the aha moments. Some people think that the more friends you have the better. I might ask how many of these friends will really be there for you in hard times? For example, if you have experienced grief or loss, who are the people who made you a meal or ran an errand for you? These are the people to focus on. It is much richer to have a few people like this in your life, than 500 Facebook friends or Instagram followers.
Continue to nurture those deep friendships and you will have one of the greatest gifts in life.
Don’t let societies’ rules determine your happiness
The final aha moment is about the oppressiveness of society. There is this myth out there with the house, white picket fence, and 2.5 kids and living happily ever after. Or you should finish college in 4 years right after high school.
We know there are all kinds of reasons why none of those things might happen. We are all so diverse with different abilities, desires, health issues, and privileges or lack thereof. So instead of beating yourself up for not measuring up to some societal or family expectation, listen to your own heart and desires. When you do that hopefully you can find a way to make life happen according to the plan that works for you.
I know this is all easier said than done, and it may take many years to come to some of these aha moments. In addition they may not apply to you. If you struggle in life and need help, please give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can work on getting you to where you want to be.
Take care,
Debbie
