Last weeks blog was on common negative thinking patterns that can lead to anxiety or depression. This week, the focus will be on combatting some of them. The reason being is that if we can change the way we think, we can change the way we feel. What we want to do is some reality testing to see what is really true, vs. assuming something negative. We are opening up to more possibilities. Please go back to last week’s blog to see the definitions of the cognitive distortions if you need.

Catastrophizing: The example I gave was, “I failed that test, I won’t pass the class, and it will kill my GPA.” To challenge this thought you would ask yourself if you really failed the test, or did you just not do as well as you would like? Did you get a D or an F? If that is the case, you did do poorly on the exam. Then ask if you will really fail the class. Does the professor allow extra credit, or is these something you can do to get more points in the class? Is it too late to drop the class if it looks like you will actually fail? Will it really kill your GPA, or just lower it a little? If it is lowered a little, will it make a difference in the long run?

Black and White thinking: Assuming things, are right or wrong, good or bad. “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.” Is this really true? Are you really a failure if you make a mistake? Do you know anyone else who is perfect? I doubt it, because no one is. Perhaps you didn’t do as well as you’d like, but that does not make you a failure. Would anyone else say that about you, beside yourself?

Negative Mental Filter: You focus on the negative aspects of an event and ignore the positive aspects. Perhaps you made an error while doing a presentation, yet everything else went well and afterwards you can’t stop thinking about your mistake. Take time to focus on what you did well.

Mind Reading: “He did that to make me mad,” when you don’t know for sure. Is this really true, or are you assuming it? He may have had a valid reason for doing what he did that did not involve you. The only way to find out for sure is to ask. You may have misinterpreted the event.

Shoulds/Musts: “I never get what I want.” It would be hard to believe that this statement is true. If you only focus on what you did not get, you will believe it’s true. If you try to think of the times you did get what you wanted, you will feel better. It could be that you don’t get what you want a lot of the time, but not always. If that is the case, you may want to ask yourself if you need to be a little more assertive.

Personalization: When a mother saw her child’s report card, there was a note from the teacher indicating the child was not doing well in class. She immediately decided, “I must be a bad mother. This shows how I’ve failed.” Is your child’s difficulty in class really because of you? Perhaps they struggle in that subject, perhaps someone is bullying them, or perhaps they are worried about something else. There are many reasons your child might struggle in class.

These are just a few examples. If your negative thinking is getting you down, give me a call at 281-334-6165 and we can work on improving your mood.

Take care,

Debbie