Anxiety is one of the main reasons people come in for therapy. Typically these individuals can’t explain why they are anxious, as they don’t feel there is a specific reason. When clients come in with anxiety they may report a variety of symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, increased breathing, lightheadedness, feeling like they are going to pass out etc. If you have had a panic attack, typically the way you found out is you made a trip to the emergency room thinking you were having a heart attack, only to find out that you are fine, and it’s all due to stress. If you haven’t experienced anxiety in this way, it may be hard for you to understand what it is like for these people. While you may think you are helping by saying some of the statements below, you are not.
Statements to Avoid:
You have so much to be thankful for. This makes those with anxiety feel worse. If you suffer from anxiety, you know you have a lot of good in your life. You are healthy and have a family, etc. There is no logical reason for the anxiety, which makes it feel worse. Therefore let them know how much you appreciate them.
You should…Adding shoulds and oughts only adds stress to someone struggling with anxiety. Thus, ask the person if there is something you can do that would help them.
You’ll be fine. This comment dismisses the feelings of someone with anxiety. If you suffer from anxiety, you may feel like you are going crazy and it does not feel fine. Let the person know you are there for them.
Why can’t you be happy? It would be nice if those with anxiety could just flip a switch and have it be gone. It doesn’t work that way. Their bodies are in a state of physiological arousal. This is known as the fight or flight instinct. Instead, see if there is some way that you can help them to relax.
Just don’t think about it. When you try not to think about something, by definition you are thinking of it. Research has shown that the more you try not to think about a certain topic, the more difficult it is to get it off your mind. Maybe, ask the person if they would like to do some meditation or go for a walk.
There’s no reason to be anxious. This is something that makes people feel crazy. Because they know there is no reason to be anxious, which only makes them more anxious. Thus, if they could figure out a specific reason, they would feel better. Perhaps, ask if there is something you can do to help take their mind off of it.
Others have it worse than you. We can all think of someone who is in a worse situation than us. The thing that really matters is our own internal state. As a result, only the individual knows how they feel, someone might be dealing with a situation that is worse than ours and still not feel as bad internally. Empathize with them and just listen.
In conclusion, think about what you are saying to the person with anxiety. If anxiety is something you struggle with, therapy can help. There are many tools that I could teach you to help you deal with your anxiety. If I can help you or someone you know, please give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie
