Are you a worrier? Are you ruminating? Is it hard to let go of certain thoughts or situations? Do things stay on your mind longer than you think they should? Does it keep you up at night or make it difficult to fall asleep? Do you wonder if your thinking is unproductive? Here’s how to tell, and how you can stop:

Productive thinking

If something is on your mind, or been bothering you, it is natural to think about it. It is productive if, as you are thinking about it, you are also problem solving. You are working on coming up with possible solutions, because you know there is one. Perhaps  you might even pick up the phone and call someone. If you can’t come up with the solution, you can let the thought go and come back to it later, and do the things you need to do.

Unproductive thinking

This is when you are in a do-loop, thinking the same thought over and over. Typically you are worrying about something that probably will never happen. Or perhaps you can’t let go of something you or someone did or said. You go round and round and have the same thoughts that drive you crazy. There is no solution for this problem, so worrying about it will bring you no relief. It interferes with your day, your life and your joy. As a matter of fact, it might even make you depressed

How To Stop Ruminating

Thought stopping

The way you thought stop is to imagine a big red stop sign in front of your face. Picture it in your mind. Now say to yourself loudly, “Stop.” As silly as this may sound, it is a way to snap you our of your thought processes.

Worry time

Set a time each day to worry, for example say it’s 7 pm. Then when you find yourself worrying, tell yourself that it is not 7:00. It is not time to worry about it until then. For now, I’ll put it on the shelf, and then at 7 pm, I will worry about it. Allow yourself 15 minutes of worry time per day.

Testing your negative thoughts sheet

With this, ask yourself how worried about it you are on a scale of 1-10. Write down what your fear is. Ask yourself how likely it is that this worry will happen. What makes it partially true, what makes it not true? The worst that could happen is…? Would I live through it? What is the best that could happen? If my closest friend were in the same situation, what would I say? Now say this to yourself. Most of us are a lot kinder to our friends. Offer yourself the same kindness and compassion. Now rate your worry. Hopefully asking your self these questions will decrease it.

Go for a walk or run

Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress. It’s also a way to get out of your head and change your surroundings. Doing so will help you focus on something else.

Is there something you can do that would be productive for your problem? Maybe you are frozen with fear. Perhaps if you are worrying about what you did or said, or what someone else did or said, you can call them to clarify. Most likely they are not spending nearly as much time on it as you are, or even aware of it. If you did something wrong, apologize and move on.

Keep track of your ruminating

Is there a trigger, a certain time of day that it happens the most, how long does it happen? What are you thinking about? Describe your feelings. How did the ruminating stop? Doing so can help you recognize patterns. Also, if you focus on what made it stop, you may be able to identify some coping mechanisms that work for you.

Focus on the positive

When you start thinking of what if…you most likely conjure up negative thoughts. How about for every time you have a negative thought, you also think of a positive outcome? This is a way to do some reality testing. Most of the things people worry about never happen.

Focus on your five senses

When we focus on our senses, it pulls us out of our heads. People who worry and ruminate spend way too much time in their heads. If you recognize you are ruminating, stop and ask yourself, what do I smell right now, what am I physically touching (can I feel the clothes on my body, the hardness of the ground under my feet, the texture of the chair I am sitting on)? Can I hear anything (am I home and can hear the AC or heat, the refrigerator, etc)? Is there a taste in my mouth (perhaps I just ate something, had a cup of coffee, or a mint)? What can I see (focus on your surroundings, whether you are at home, in a public location, or in nature)?

Focus on what you need to be doing for the day

Are you at work? If so, focus on the task at hand. Are you home? Do you need to get the wash done, or make dinner? Do you need to run errands? Pull yourself out of your head and make yourself do what you need to do for the day or in the moment. It may be as simple as putting your dishes in the dishwasher or taking a shower.

If rumination is something you struggling with, give me a call at 713-304-6554 and we can come up with a plan that works for you.

Take care,

Debbie Grammas, PhD