If you are not familiar with Mindful Self Compassion, you might want to look at the website www.CenterForMSC.org. There are several resources that are wonderful for everyone, as we all struggle in some way shape or form. Whether or not you have an anxiety disorder or depression, or are human, you will benefit. Life is difficult and no one escapes challenges of relationships or loss. You can even take a quiz to see how self-compassionate you are. Most of us don’t do so well.

There are 3 parts to self-compassion according to Neff and Germer.

  1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment. Most of us are a whole lot kinder to others than we are ourselves. It involves learning how to give that same love, self-compassion and nurturance that we would give to a loved one.
  2. Common humanity vs. Isolation. It is the recognition that we all suffer as its part of being human. We can learn to feel a connected with others in our common suffering vs. feeling that we are on the only one out there suffering. It helps ease some of the suffering.
  3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification. This means that we accept our painful emotions as they are. We don’t run away or avoid them, as they will always find us. If you suppress it, it will only come out in some other way, shape or form.

A key concept is to accept these uncomfortable feelings and emotions. They say that what you resist persists. Or if you can feel it, you can heal it. If you are willing to try this simple exercise, it will help you understand these sayings in a different way.

Mindful Self-Compassion Exercise
First, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Now hold your arms out in front of you. Next, clench your fists as hard as you can. Hold it for a moment and feel the heaviness of your arms and the sensation of your nails digging into your hands. This is what it is like when we hold on to suffering. Keep you eyes closed and, drop your arms down and open your palms. Notice the difference. This is what our suffering becomes if we become mindful of it. Now extend your arms in front of you and open your palms. This is what it is like when we are open to the common humanity to reach beyond you. Finally, place both hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of skin against skin. This can make you feel loved, safe and comfortable. This simple exercise shows us what it is like when we suffer and how much easier it is when we accept these feelings and emotions, and not fight against them.

There are many wonderful mindful self-compassion exercises to try on the website. If you are having challenges in life or with relationships, it often helps to talk with a professional who is not emotionally involved in the situation. I always say that therapy is a safe place to land your storm. If I can help in any way, give me a call at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie