The holidays are exciting for many people. All the festivities, parties, and gatherings are something to look forward to. However, your eating disorder, can be a source of dread at this time of year. Just about every gathering involves food or drink, which can evoke a great amount of fear. There is also a sense of shame with your eating disorder, as many don’t want to eat in public, or have concerns of what others will think. Perhaps you are afraid that if you eat just a little bit of those wonderful treats you won’t be able to stop. Fears of getting fat heighten. Maybe you don’t even know what a normal portion would look like. Most people can enjoy and relax at the festivities. However your eating disorder can get in the way.

If you or a loved one has an eating disorder, here are some things that can help.

If Your Eating Disorder Gets in the Way

Focus on friends and family

During the holidays, we tend to spend more time with friends and family. This is what makes it so wonderful. Pay attention to these relationships and be grateful that you have these special people in your life. Hang around the people who accept you as you are, don’t judge you, and that you feel comfortable with. Don’t focus on the food. Notice the decorations, music and other aspects.

Make an appointment with your therapist

The holidays are a trigger for many people. If you aren’t currently in therapy, you may want to see one, or if you haven’t been in a while, it won’t hurt to strengthen your coping mechanisms. Learn some tools on how to reduce anxiety, and what you can do to take care of yourself if you become overwhelmed.

Taste some of the foods

Try not to restrict what you eat or skip meals. Try to ease up on your rigid thinking and rules around food. If you know you love something, allow yourself to eat a small amount and enjoy it. Don’t beat yourself up. If you fear that you will binge eat, have a small meal before the party. Allow yourself a plate of food, and then stay away from the table. Just remember, no foods are bad. Everything is fine in moderation.

Have a support person

Is there someone who knows about your eating disorder that will be there? If so, can you talk with them ahead of time and let them know you may need to lean on them if things get a little rough? This way you will be less likely to panic. Sometimes just having that person reduces your anxiety.

Practice Relaxation

What do you like to do to relax? Does it help to do yoga, read, meditate, phone a friend, listen to music, guided imagery or practice mindfulness? The holidays tend to be stressful for many people, so be sure you take care of yourself. That way you can go into things with a calmer perspective.

Don’t let others get to you

People who haven’t seen you in a while may make a comment about your weight, especially if you have lost a lot of weight. Don’t misinterpret what they say. Often time’s people with an eating disorder will interpret the comment, ‘you look healthy’ as meaning you are fat.

If Your Loved One Has An Eating Disorder

Be there for them

Don’t make comments about what your loved one is eating, or encourage them to eat more. Don’t play food police. This will only increase their stress. Let the person know you are there to support them. They can rely on you if they get overwhelmed. Be there to listen and not judge. The person with the eating disorder is already judging them self, and fear others will judge them.

Don’t play into their eating disorder

Often time’s people with eating disorders will seek reassurance about how they look. It is best not to comment and you probably won’t give the right answer. The person needs to learn to be OK on his or her own. Just reassure the person that you love him or her no matter what they look like.

Ask what you loved one needs

You are not a mind reader. If you do not know how to help the person, just ask what they need, or how you can help. Just listen and if you can do what they ask for, then do it. Let the person know that you are there so they can feel safe.

If you need some help with your eating disorder over the holidays, or any time of year, please give me a call at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie Grammas, PhD