The holidays are an enjoyable time for many people. We get together with family and friends for parties and meals. Perhaps you have special family traditions for the various items you cook and bake.

For those struggling with eating disorders, the holidays can be filled with dread. First of all, most events revolve around food. If you have an eating disorder, food is your enemy. Second, there is always the concern that people will be watching what you eat, or commenting on it. Finally, if you love someone who has an eating disorder, it could also be a difficult time.

If you have an eating disorder or love someone who does, here are some things that might be helpful.

  1. Don’t make food the focus of the gathering. Yes, there will be plenty of food around. However, if you focus on the gathering of friends and family, as well as the happy times that have been shared, you will be a lot happier. Maybe there are people you haven’t seen in awhile that you can catch up with.
  2. Don’t focus on weight or size. It doesn’t matter what size you wear. Don’t weigh yourself. Eat the foods you love in moderation, and don’t restrict the foods you love. Because, if you restrict, it only sets you up for a binge.
  3. Avoid the people who cause you distress. Interpersonal triggers can set you up for failure. Typically there are plenty of other people around. Thus if you have a family member or acquaintance who sets you off, be sure to stick with the people who will keep you healthy.
  4. Take a break from the gathering. If being around a lot of people is overwhelming, perhaps you can go outside or go in a different room. Maybe there are some kids to play with, so you can have some fun and get your mind off of things.
  5. Practice yoga or mindfulness prior to the event. If you fear the event will cause you distress, these practices can help you remain calm. Because you can decrease your level of stress, you will be able to handle more than if you start feeling stress.
  6. Ask your loved one how you can help. Rather than say something such as “just get over it,” see if there is something the person needs from you. Ask what you can do to support them. Then do it!
  7. Ask the person what is not helpful. Often time’s people think they are saying things that help, but the opposite is true. Maybe you don’t know what to say to someone who is suffering from an eating disorder. Only the person suffering knows what they need.
  8. Treat the person with love and respect. Most of all, be kind and loving. Be there emotionally for that person. Talk about topics other than food.

If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, give me a call at 713-304-7554 as therapy can be helpful.

Take care,

Debbie Grammas, PhD.