How is your relationship doing? Could it use a tune up? Have you let it coast on autopilot too long? This occurs in many relationships. Because all good relationships take work, it is important to nurture yours. If your relationship needs a boost, here are some tips that may help.
Spend 10-20 minutes talking each day. This is not to be done sporadically throughout the day or when the kids are around. Specifically, I recommend sitting on the couch when no one else is around, no phones, TV, or reading materials. Consequently, you will be surprised at how long 10 minutes of undivided attention can be. Spending quality time together is a wonderful way to truly connect.
Share 1 thing you love or appreciate about your partner everyday. We tend to have specific chores as to who will do what in the relationship. However, some may be spoken, others assumed. Do you thank your partner for taking out the trash, or making dinner? Do you let your partner know that how good they look, or that you love that he or she is such a good parent?
Go out on dates on a regular basis. I recommend couples go on dates weekly (at a minimum twice a month). If you have children it is important to spend time away from them. Perhaps you are caught up with your kids, taking them here and there and are ignoring your relationship. It is crucial that you nurture your own relationship, or it just might not be there when the kids grow up. You might want to take turns as to who plans it. Perhaps it can be a surprise as to where you are taking the other person. However, let them know what they should wear. It’s important to be a good sport. Perhaps if one person likes sci-fi movies and the other likes chick flicks you can take turns.
Find a new hobby together. It can add some excitement to your relationship if you try something new. Perhaps you can each make a list of possibilities and then compare them to see if there is something you can agree upon.
Have time away from each other. First of all, it is important to have quality time with your partner as away from your partner. Each person has interests and friends that the other person doesn’t have. Let your partner nurture different aspects of them self. Then you can then share your day with your partner. In addition makes life more interesting.
Play together. You can just being silly. It could mean playing sports, cards or board games. Therefore, just enjoy yourself and have fun.
Hug daily, the longer the better. If you hug, it releases oxytocin. Because this hormone is also released during breast-feeding, it is a bonding hormone, and will make you feel closer to your partner.
Finally, if your relationship is in trouble and you aren’t feeling like you are number 1, therapy can help. I offer pre-marital, marital and couples counseling. Please call me at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie
