This week’s blog will be on female sexual dysfunction and next week will be on male sexual dysfunction. These blogs come from a seminar that I attended by Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. There are 3 types of female sexual dysfunction: Inhibited sexual desire, non-orgasmic response and sexual pain.
Last weeks blog spoke about increasing desire. They key to desire is anticipation, and feeling that you serve to be happy sexually in your relationship. It involves giving and receiving touch that brings pleasure. It increases if you have a regular pattern of sexual experiences.
Something else to keep in mind-that if you are taking medications such as antidepressants, or blood pressure medications, it can decrease desire, as can smoking.
Awareness of a woman’s sexual voice is key to pleasure. That is sharing what you enjoy sexually with your partner. It is your responsibility to tell your partner verbally or nonverbally (showing your partner) what you would like.
It is unrealistic to expect an orgasm every time. Seventy percent of women are able to achieve orgasm with their partner. There is no scientific distinction between a clitoral and vaginal orgasm.
Part of having a healthy sex life is knowing that you have the right to say “no” at any time.
Sexuality is not about proving anything (G-spot orgasm, multiple orgasms, vaginal orgasm), but just being able to experience the desire and pleasure with your partner. To do so just adds pressure and concerns about performance.
Many women experience occasional discomfort or pain during intercourse. However chronic pain or uncomfortable pain is not normal or okay. If there is no medical reason for pain according to your gynecologist, you may want to seek a gynecologist who specializes in sexual pain, or a physical therapist that specializes in pelvic floor musculature.
Many women who are 40 and older use some type of lubricant (such as estrogen or water based) to help with intercourse.
Using relaxation and mindfulness exercises may help you to relax. Use positions that are the most comfortable for you.
If the experience is uncomfortable, gently let your partner know. You can still engage in other activities that are enjoyable for both of you. If you avoid sex (not just intercourse), it will only increase your anxiety. Discussing what you can do instead of intercourse will increase the emotional intimacy in your relationship, so you can both enjoy the moment.
If you are experiences challenges with sex in your relationship, give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie
