Often times when someone you care about has an eating disorder, you don’t know what to say or do. You may think you are being helpful, but you might actually be making things worse-unintentionally.

Here are some do’s and don’ts when someone you care about has an eating disorder.

Don’t try to coax the person to eat. This will only result in a battle of wills.

Don’t try to tell them to just get over it. This is one of the most difficult disorders to treat. It is based on an irrational fear of getting fat or being fat even though it is far from the truth.

Don’t shame the person. They are already experiencing enough shame on their own.

Do let the person know that you are concerned about them and are there to talk with them if they would like.

Do suggest that they seek professional help if they are not already doing so. This can be with a therapist, dietician or medical doctor. You can even offer to go to their first appointment with them and sit in the waiting room. The sooner someone seeks help the better chance they have for recovery. If they don’t like the first therapist they go to, suggest they try a different one. This is the most important part of recovery-a good client-therapist fit.

Do talk about other things besides the eating disorder. They are your friend or family members and the eating disorder is just a part of their life. Talk about the things you always talk about.

Do educate yourself about eating disorders. There are several online resources such as National Eating Disorders Association and International Association of Eating Disorders.

Do ask them how you can help them. Listen and do not judge. Continue to be there for them.

Many push people away or avoid social functions, because many of them involve food. Try to engage them in activities that do not involve food, such as movies, etc.

Do not focus on appearance, even saying things such as, “You’re looking healthier,” can trigger their eating disorder, as they may interpret it as, “I’m getting fat.” Focus on their positive personality traits.

Do take care of yourself and your own boundaries. You may even need someone to talk to as eating disorders can be very difficult to treat.

This is one of my areas of specialty; so if you have any questions or would like to set up an appointment, please call me at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie