Do you dread life changes? Do you want things to stay the way they are? We all like to feel safe and comfortable. Yet there are many good things about change. First of all, life would be boring if everything stayed the same. We all crave some sort of excitement. In addition, change helps us grow and expand out of our comfort zones. Good things happen, new relationships form. Yet for some, the thought of any kind of change brings about anxiety.
Realistically, the only thing that is constant in life is change. Things change daily and we can’t control or change much of it. As a result, many people dread major life changes, as they can be scary.
When you think about it, life changes happen more than you think. Realistically, our roles in life change over time. We may be a daughter or son, then become a couple, in-law, parent, grandparent, etc. These are all natural life changes that people may actually look forward to. Thus, many people are excited about these changing roles in life.
Other people get anxious when you mention change. The interesting thing about anxiety is the way people describe it-butterflies in your stomach. When you think of getting excited about something, it can be described in the same way. Yet people label anxiety bad, and excitement good. The same thing is happening in our bodies. Perhaps knowing that will help you to feel a little more comfortable with your anxiety. Remember, it is just a feeling, and like waves, they will come and go. Your feelings will not kill you.
It seems like many changes are met with mixed emotions. Perhaps your first child is going off to college, or you will soon be an empty nester. These are bittersweet moments in life. When your children leave, there is sadness, as the family dynamics will change. You will miss the person. Yet on the flip side, you have done your job as a parent. Your children have become self sufficient and ready to start their own lives.
Maybe you are retiring and dreading the changes. Or perhaps you are extremely excited, or some where in between. You may discover new things about yourself, have time to engage in your hobbies, or perhaps start new ones. As a result, you may have to do a little work on yourself to determine what you will do with your time.
Many people stay in jobs and are miserable. They are afraid of change. If you have lost your job, it may not be a bad thing. You may now look for a job that you really enjoy. Fear of the unknown is what keeps many people from making these kinds of changes. If you focus on all the good that can come with a job change, it will lessen your anxiety.
Maybe you are moving into a new location. This can be both exciting and scary at the same time. Just remember, you will eventually settle into a new routine and get comfortable.
It is normal to struggle with life changes. If you feel it would be helpful to talk to someone about these mixed emotions, please give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie Grammas, PhD.
