Since the day I am writing this is Mother’s Day, it seems to fit that it should be the topic of this weeks blog. What does the word mother mean to you? What thoughts, feelings or emotions arise? For most people, it’s a mixed bag. Hopefully most of these are good. Realistically our mom’s can’t be there for us 24-7, but if she is/was there for you most of the time that is great.
If you are a mother, I hope your children made you feel special. What does being a mother mean to you? No job is harder, or more rewarding that being a mom. I would imagine that the day you had your first child you were in awe with the amount of love that you could experience. And if you haven’t had a second one yet and are concerned that you could have enough love to give to it, just know that love actually multiplies with each child vs. divides.
If you are not yet a mother and want to be, I hope it happens quickly for you. I know some parents struggle with infertility, and if this is you, my heart goes out to you. Perhaps you have not yet met that special person you’d like to have a child with and you are getting towards middle age. My heart also goes out to you, and hope that there are other options you can consider.
Hopefully growing up you had the mother that loved you and treated you with nurturance. I hope that she was there when you needed her. Obviously, not everyone gets a mother who fits that bill, for many reasons. She may have had struggles of her own, either emotionally or physically. Perhaps she could not be there for you in the ways that you needed. If your mother did not meet your needs, I wish you comfort. Perhaps there is another woman who fills that role. That way, you have a mother by choice, whom I’m guessing gives you the love, support and guidance that your biological mother was unable to give you.
Also recognize that even if your mother was there for you most of the time, there may be conflict in your relationship. Perhaps the way she shows you love is not the way you’d like to receive it, or she is critical. If this is something that causes you distress, therapy can help. Please call at 713-304-6554 if this is something you’d like to discuss.
Take care,
Debbie Grammas, PhD
