Mindfulness is a way to transform yourself as well as your relationships. When we talk about mindfulness, we are talking about awareness-simply being present without judgments. Notice your thoughts and feelings and don’t label them. Just allow them to be there, don’t attach any meaning, positive or negative.
Mindfulness has been shown to help people with depression and anxiety. When you aren’t being mindful, you are just reacting. Your fear centers (the amygdala in your brain) may be taking over. This part of the brain is referred to as the limbic system, or reptilian brain. Our basic feelings are here, and the purpose is to keep you alive. You may have heard of fight, flight or freeze. This is the part of the brain we are talking about. By learning how to be mindful, you can actually change your brain. You can learn new ways to think or interact, as well as grow.
Mindfulness cannot only improve how you feel about yourself, but also about the nature of your relationships. If you learn to be less judgmental of yourself, you can learn to be less judgmental of others. How do you think your relationships might improve if you didn’t judge others?
You may want to look at some of my past blogs for ways to be mindful, but the simplest way is to be aware of your breath. Just sit still for 10 minutes and focus on your breathing. As you are doing that, what thoughts and feelings are coming up for you? Just be aware of them. Don’t try to change them. Perhaps you haven’t listened to your inner voice for a long time, and now it’s time. Can you just let them be there, and not make them go away? Some of them might be uncomfortable, that is O.K. Remember, you are not your thoughts.
Feelings are like waves. Sometimes they are little ripples and barely move you. Other times they may make you sway or almost fall over. At times they knock you to the ground. But, how long do they really last? Just like waves, they eventually calm down and go to the shore. Try to just ride the wave and don’t fight it. You can either be a raft floating on the waves and going with it, or you can fight it and get knocked down.
Remember to practice self-care. Can you be as kind and compassionate to yourself as well as others? It’s typically easier to be compassionate with friends and loved ones. Why not be compassionate with yourself. There are exercises you can do to practice mindful self-compassion. Doing these exercises can keep you more connected with yourself, as well as with others. If you have struggle with any of these areas, please give me a call at 713-304-6554.
Take care,
Debbie
