Healthy family systems have several characteristics. No family is perfect and there may be some dysfunctional things that occur. All of our needs cannot be met at all times. However, healthy families operate differently than dysfunctional families whey these types of situations arise.

Rules of Healthy Family Systems

  1. Honesty-Instead of using denial to deal with problems, healthy families are open and honest. They are willing to acknowledge problems and work on them. As a result trust can develop. It is a safe atmosphere where the normal state is not tension.
  2. Communication– Instead of demanding silence with family problems, members are free to talk about them. When people are free to communicate, it allows them to explore their concerns, get things off their chest, and clear the air. People are willing to accept feedback and make changes to adapt to the needs of others.
  3. Flexibility– The roles are not rigid and fixed. People are allowed to grow, explore themselves and be free to discover who they are. Personal growth is encouraged without expectations. People make mistakes and learn from them. Differences are accepted, and their successes are commemorated. They can let go of resentment and forgive each other. Healthy families play together and laugh together. They are free to be who they are, not what anyone would like them to be, or expect them to be.
  4. Intimacy– By being able to be open and honest with communication, intimacy can develop. They can resolve conflict and be supportive of each other. Because people in these families feel that their feelings are heard, acknowledged and respected, it creates intimacy.
  5. Coping skills– Crises will arise in all families at some point in time. However, healthy families have the skills to deal with these situations. Because they can find solutions to their problem, dysfunction does not develop. In addition, if they don’t know how to solve it, they find someone else who can help them solve it. It is safe to go outside the family system for help.

If healthy family relationships develop, then there is a chance that dysfunction will not continue on to the next generation. If the family does not get healthy, the younger members will end up with a partner that recreates their family of origin dysfunction. Which means that they will be attracted to someone who recreates the family system. Even though it is not healthy, feels comfortable. This is done on a subconscious level.

If you need help working on developing a healthy family system, please contact me at 713-304-6554.

Take care,

Debbie