Has a friend, family member or partner broken their trust to you? Or have you broken theirs? If so, there are things you can do to help restore that trust. You may ask, what exactly is trust? According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of trust is: “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Breaking that trust can be as simple, as a white lie, a lie by omission, or a betrayal. Betrayal can range from the sharing of confidential information to a sexual affair.

Here are some things that can be done to restore trust:

  1. First apologize for your transgression and take responsibility. It is important for the other person to feel that you are remorseful in order to move forward. They need to believe that the transgression will not occur again.
  2. Ask for forgiveness and let the other person know that you are willing to do whatever it takes to restore the trust process.
  3. Be extra open and honest. Perhaps you might need to start sharing more with your partner, so they know your thoughts and feelings. This can be challenging if you are naturally quiet or private, but a little more communication is always helpful.
  4. If there has been an affair, one way to build trust is to let your partner have access to your passwords for your phone, social media, e-mail, etc. This may last just a few months, so the person can check randomly as a way to rebuild trust.
  5. Do not hide the truth to avoid conflict. Perhaps you are fearful that the information you share will hurt the other person. Most people would prefer to know the truth and be hurt, then to have it hidden from them. Often times the other person finds out anyways, and their hurt will only be magnified if you hide it from them.
  6. Be reliable. If you lie again, you will only reinforce the truth that you cannot be trusted. This will take the other person back to square one. Depending on the lie or betrayal, you may not get a second chance in the relationship.
  7. Don’t share the secrets of others. If you do this, you will give the person the message that you will be sharing his or her secrets with someone else.

If there has been some sort of betrayal in your relationship, and you are having difficulty moving past it, contacting a professional may be helpful. I have worked with many people who need to rebuild trust for one reason or another. Feel free to call me at 713-304-6554 if you would like to set up an appointment.

Take care,

Debbie