Would it be an oxymoron if I told you are not alone if you experience loneliness? Do you sometimes feel alone, even if you are around other people? Perhaps you are feeling loneliness because the holidays have come and gone, and all the hubbub has died down. Did you know that this is normal? Being lonely at times is part of the human condition. According to research shared in Medical News Today 1/3 of adults age 45 and older identified themselves as lonely, and a significant number of people aged 17-24 were also.

Besides being an uncomfortable feeling, loneliness can impact us in several other ways. Too much of it can lead to depression. It can affect our immune system and ability to ward off infection, our ability to have a restorative night sleep, increases risk of heart disease, even shorten lifespan.

Supposedly the third Monday of January is the gloomiest day of the year.

The good news is there are things that we can do to reduce these feelings. Here are some tips from the article.

Tips to overcome loneliness

Decrease time online

People, who experience social anxiety, often prefer the internet for feelings of connectedness. They will argue that these people are their friends. It seems easy to get on line to try to connect with others, as someone will always be there. This quick fix is more of an illusion of connectedness. In actuality, research shows that it can make us feel even more isolated.

Another thing we need as humans is physical touch. This make us feel connected to others, yet online friends cannot provide us that.

Plan to get together with a friend

Spending time with another person and getting out of your home is one of the best things you can do. Having too much time on your hands can make you feel even more lonely.

People don’t talk about feeling lonely or isolated, as it feels even bad to admit it. Yet the funny thing is we all feel it, and talking about it would make us feel less alone. Most people feel better after spending time with a friend. If you can’t get together, then talking on the phone can help. Just hearing another human voice, can make us feel connected.

Get a pet

Having a pet can make us feel needed and loved. Who wouldn’t enjoy coming home to someone who is always happy to see you, wants to hang out with you, or be on your lap. Having an animal on our lap or touching us is warm and comforting. Pets are known to decrease symptoms of depression, loneliness being one of them.

Walking a dog can be an easy way to meet people. Many dog walkers are happy to start up a conversation with other dog walkers. Going to the dog park will get you out of your home and interacting with other pet owners.

If you don’t have a pet, perhaps you could volunteer at an animal shelter. One of them is bound to tug at your heartstrings in some way shape or form.

Use your alone time to your advantage

Instead of being sad about it, think of things that you can do by yourself. Perhaps there is a hobby or activity that you used to do in the past. Have you let your creative side go, or did you use to play a musical instrument? How about digging deep and reengaging in something you used to enjoy. Perhaps it will make you feel good.

Reflect on your solitude

You could use this time for personal reflection, and personal growth. Have you tried meditation or mindfulness? These practices can be used to enhance your mental, physical, or spiritual help. When you are truly in the moment as in these practices, there is no room for loneliness. You could even reflect on the fact that loneliness is a universal human condition that everyone experiences. Thus, you are not alone in your loneliness.

Keep a gratitude journal

It’s not possible to be lonely and grateful at the same time. Even though life may seem bleak, there are many simple things in our day that we can be grateful for. Did someone smile at you, hug you, hold the door open for you, let you cut into traffic? Simple acts of kindness are all around us if our eyes are open to see them.

Consider Therapy

If loneliness is a constant vs. occasional struggle, you may want to consider therapy, as it can be a sign of depression. Someone you trust can help you through this. There are many tools I can teach you. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be helpful, as it teach you to challenge some of your negative thoughts, or distorted thinking patterns. Please call me at 713-304-6554 if I can help you out.

Take care,

Debbie Grammas, PhD